Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
