Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
