Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i love accidental penises.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
