New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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