yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
