The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
