Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
