Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
