I think im going to throw up on grandma
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize