So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
