I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
