just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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