Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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