the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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