Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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