People with herpes should wear stickers.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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