...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
