Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
