i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
