I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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