just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
