I want to walk on stilts...naked
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
