But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
