You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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