it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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