apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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