Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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