whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
