It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
