I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Still dying that you shit outside
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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