If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
