No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
