Michael Bay diarrhea
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
