I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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