why didn't you poke me back
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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