I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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