Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize