Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
