Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I have already put on my inside pants.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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