are you so shy because you have an std?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
