You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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