"it" just moved
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
