obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Randomize
