And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
