I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
