used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
