Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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