If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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