I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
did i walk over a car last night?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
