I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize