I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she told me i tasted like america
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
