Why does Corona taste like a burp?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Couch. On fire.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize