After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
