No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
do nipples grow back?
Come on in and take your pants off
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