Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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