I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
