if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
