At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
