butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Randomize
