last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize