shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
