Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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