seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
