I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize