So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
as a side note pls kill me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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