the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
