If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
