508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Is it because I queefed?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
