Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize