____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up under a house in Key West
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