I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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