what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Houston, we have a blender
I wish there were birth control emojis
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
