the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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