the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
