So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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