dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
