He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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