I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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