Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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