So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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