Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize